Wednesday 10 October 2007

Recycle until the end of its life..?

I had the most unfortunate chance to catch a viewing of some TV programme, some time ago, blarting on about how to recycle your household waste. It has been brought to mind due to all the 'environmental' waffle that's all over the place, nowadays.

I do recycle as much as I can possibly stick into categories provided, according to what containers there happens to be at the recycling points I go to. And, this is where my gripe begins.

The TV programme I saw a while ago had a woman going through some couple's week's worth of accumulated rubbish, separating and categorizing the individual peices of crap, leaving the couple with all their junk, and no rubbish for the binmen in the morning.

Among the items the woman removed from the couple's rubbish, for recycling, was a scourer sponge that is used for washing the dishes. The woman told the couple that it could be used for washing the car windows, which is all very well. I have forever since asked this question: what do you do with the f****ng sponge when it's use for the car is up an done? And, the same can be asked of many things: glass jam jars (how many will you ever need to separate all those buttons, screws, nails, etc), bottle tops (there are only so many paint pots a school will ever need), plastic bottles and tubs (how many dinners and drinks do you ever need to take to work with you)?

The subject I like to highlight from the so-called environmental TV household shows is that you can save the rubbish from being buried for one week; you will have filled all your glass jars with screws, nuts, bolts, buttons, etc. and the schools you live near will have now applied to the courts for an injunction to keep you from dumping your crap on them.

I recycle everything, but not to the extent that I have to start burying it in the back garden, and then the neighbours....

Sunday 7 October 2007

Disability, not a mong!



I'm sure you've seen them in your local supermarket; there's no way to avoid them and you feel it necessary to move out of their way. Of course, I am talking about battery powered mobile chair users of a specific kind.
Let us, for the purpose, and conveyance, of my message, name these battery powered mobile chair users ‘mobile gits‘.

This is not a moan about the disabled; it is completely about mobile gits in supermarkets. You should take note that anyone can use a mobile chair in a supermarket; I can nip to my local superstore and pay £2 deposit for the funky use of a battery powered mobile machine, anyone can. Moreover, once someone has control of four wheels, and three separate one hundred meter stretches of pure polished tile, there is no stopping the bleeders.

Nevertheless, even speeding is not the nagging thing that makes me scratch my teeth.

Give me a go-cart and I’ll be off in a jiffy. I would love to speed along a three-hundred meter stretch of track; everyone would, I’m sure.

The anger-fuel, generously provided by mobile gits, is their actions. They appear to imply some acting on their seated position, using it to the maximum, feeding the red-faced anger of other people in the store. The annoying practice of driving really fast toward you, slowing as they near your position, blocking your passage down another isle by driving around your feet, slower than a sloth can climb a tree, before making off down another isle at break neck speed (only achievable by the Columbian Space Shittle - yeah, it’s not the NASA version, but the mobile git concraption, sorry, contraption) is one of the many potentially hazardous situations you are sure to find yourself in among the highways and runways of a superstore.

Mobile gits know exactly what they’re doing and it gets right on my t*ts!

The disabled, using mobile chairs, don’t annoy people.

That written… I think I’ve finished moaning.

Although, the other annoying thing about mobile gits is their need to hire a git machine when they haven’t a damned clue how to drive one, let alone perform a 7.68423 turn in a 5 meter wide isle. But, that’s another story.! However, it can be fun to watch from a distance.